Keri can be a bit salty.
I love a well-chosen swear-word, it is true. When speaking colorfully, sometimes only off-color will do.
We are all adults here, so why fight it, right?
Except not-so-much.
Enter the toddler. He repeats stuff. At truly horrifying times.
Let’s just say that at least one of the things in this early 2000’s commercial has actually been said by me. And repeated by Jr.
I will NEVER tell which it is. (Ok, get a few in me and I kind of love to tell the story – but I will never WRITE IT DOWN for my five many readers to see here.)
This means that I have to be a wee bit choosy in my excited utterances and, um, decorative phrasing, let’s just call it.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Our recent trip to Texas helped quite a bit with everyday, run-of-the-mill type needs – slam finger in cabinet? “Oh Sssssssugar… hey there Jr, Mommy is glad she saw you there. Sugar, mommy said Sugar.”
A good old-fashioned southern “BLESS MY SOUL!!” always works close to as well as a firm “HOLY HELL!” (one of my faves, but the former is probably better for my relationship with The J.C. anyhoo, so, I guess it’s good to replace that one even without Jr.)
BUT the cold lately has really brought out the need for extreme language. (FYI, I live in Colorado, I know it is cold here sometimes. Seriously though people, when “zero” is the warmest it gets for days, that is not typical Colorado cold. )
Even if I manage to contain myself when I exit daycare with Jr. in tow, by the time I get him into his Jr. seat, correctly buckled and tightened, and all of his blankies tucked around on top of that (safety AND warmth, that’s my motto,) I have been standing out in the cold for quite a piece of time.
It’s the damn blessed frozen jeans thing, folks. Sitting down in my seat and having that cold denim tighten down on my upper legs? I lose verbal control.
Well, mostly – because I have managed NOT to actually curse. BUT it has resulted in some truly spectacular replacement phrases, such as:
“SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!”
“FIBBER McGEE AND MOLLY!!” (too much radio classics on Sirius)
“OLD MOTHER HUBBARD!”
“MOTHER MARY MAY I?!”
“STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON!” (throwback to my hardcore roots. giggle snort.)
“SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT!!” (I think I stole this from Steve Martin. Not sure though.)
“AMARILLO BY MORNING!!”
“SWEET SASSY MOLASSY!!” (Yeah, that’s from a women’s bowling skit on SNL, Keri. And it kind of annoyed you, so why is is coming up now?)
“JOHNNY CASH!”
Each of these things gets “IT’S COLD OUT HERE” or “MY PANTS ARE FREEZING” stuck on the end of them…
Basically it is like speaking in tongues but from the not-quite-frozen depths of my memory.
It actually really hits the spot – satisfies the need for some sort of exclamation and also instills a sense of pride at the control AND the creativity.
Then again – what do you do with a 2 year old who drops his glass of milk and yells ” WELCOME BACK KOTTER!! MY MILK!!!” in the middle of school snack time?
Hey, I’m trying.
I have previously extolled the virtues of Kachina Grill over at Hungry, so my passion for the restaurant is no secret.
Frankly, I just reread that piece and lost 5 or 6 minutes to thoughts of beignets and Navajo tacos…. Mmmmmm. Puffy tacos….
Woops, happened again.
It is true, I’d push The Mr. outside into a snowbank right now if he was trying to take the last Gaucho taco (slow braised lamb, smoked tomato aioli, brussel slaw, cowboy beans) off the plate. I have no shame when it comes to those things.
Kachina’s cool-not-kitchy southwestern inspired décor is great for cocktails with the girls, or date-night with your sweetie (hello, Valentine’s Day – you are creeping up, aren’t you,) or even an “I’ve got the perfect restaurant for that business lunch/dinner boss,” suggestion that will make you the hero of the office.
The cocktail and happy hour snack menus are fun and funky; and people, there is an actual tamale cart that gets pushed around peddling extra deliciousness from within. (The answer is YES, you would like to try one. Or two. Or more.)
Oh, and also, Wild West Brunch. So yeah. Yum.
Kachina is a good idea any time, on any normal-run-of-the-mill kind of day.
However, the real reason for my latest round of adoration for the Sage Hospitality managed restaurant is all about one really amazing, and really big, meal from the mind of Kachina Executive Chef Jeff Bolton (who previously held that title at Second Home in Cherry Creek, another of Sage’s concepts that turns Keri into a shameless foodie fangirl.)
We were fortunate to have the opportunity to attend Kachina’s 2nd annual Bison and Beer dinner at the end of January, for which the restaurant partnered with Prairie Ridge Buffalo Ranch (Limon CO,) and New Belgium Brewing.
Kachina sources whole animals from Prairie Ridge, butchering in-house. From the bone marrow crostini (my favorite of the appetizers,) and the skirt steak tostadas (The Mr.’s fave,) right through until the dessert of carmel apple and pepita bread pudding with bison bacon gelato, it just got better and better (and better, and better… and… )
The passed appetizers were paired with a margarita made from New Belgium’s soon-to-be-released Snapshot wheat beer, and let’s just say that plans were INSTANTLY in the works for the many shameless excuses entertaining opportunities I will find to recreate that particular beverage during the summer months.
Bison Carpaccio and greens paired with Spring Blonde Ale, was my favorite of the pairings, although all were delicious. During the second course of short rib braised in the paired beer (a Lips of Faith collaboration with Cigar City Brewing,) accompanied by tepary beans and jalapeno cornbread I swear The Mr closed his eyes and I heard a low-but-audible “mmmmmmmmm” escape his lips.
The ranchers and brewery reps (“Beer Rangers”) mingled throughout the dinner, and Chef Bolton offered his insight into the dishes and beer pairings during each course. His conscious efforts at relationship building with local resources are paying off in the dishes at Kachina, and this year’s Bison and Beer dinner was a wonderful example of that.
The Mr. did manage to pry the spoon out of my hand and roll me to the car after that bacon gelato incident – but it wasn’t without a bit of a fight. Want. More.
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Kachina Southwestern Grill
10600 Westminster Blvd
Westminster, CO 80020
Filed under Local Love
Why doesn’t snow seem like this much fun to adults?
Just Sayin’.
Filed under Just Sayin'
So this is a few weeks late.
Maybe. Sort of. I don’t know.
The thing is, it’s actually decidedly un-funny, and so, so very not the persona I propagate.
Almost two weeks ago a pain beyond comprehension struck a family I am acquainted with, and there hasn’t been a moment in the weeks since I haven’t felt the weight of what it means to them.
It isn’t my pain to put on paper – it isn’t something I feel I even have a right to speak of. I respect them beyond what my words could express, and I will leave that for them, and those far closer to them than me.
What I know is that, in these past two weeks, I have been more grateful to be home than I knew possible. To be in this town that molded me and cradled me and raised me. This place that released me with good wishes and all the best parts of itself to take with me. That welcomed my selfish, thankless self back to let my kid run in open green spaces and my husband live golf course adjacent while I ridicule and mock.
The familiarity, the dear friends, the safety and connection and strength – I have closed my eyes each night in the past days, holding my son’s sweet, soft head of hair against my face in the glow of his nursery night light – and I have thanked God that I am home right now… and that I am blessed to feel what home is.
It’s not funny. It’s not tough. It is as “un-Keri” as it gets.
When I was 20 I was lamenting my piss poor decision to give up my partial scholarship to an out-of-state University and stay here. I was young and cocky and kicking around culinary school (and dropping out of that too,) and closerthanthis to heading right on off to the school I thought I had pissed away after high school.
In short – screw this state. Buh-bye parents, need you not, says “Adult” Keri.
Within the year I was blind in one eye and walking with a cane. I was also –thanks to the strength and determination of my ridiculously awesome parents – starting a promising treatment for my newly diagnosed Multiple Sclerosis. Because I wasn’t hundreds of miles away.
I was right where I was supposed to be, even if I didn’t like it one tiny bit.
Tonight, and for the past weeks, I’ve known that feeling again. I’ve watched my kid spending time with my afore-mentioned awesome parents (who are now the most stupidly amazing grandparents any kid could EVER have); I’ve sat with my husband, leaning over to rest on his strength, in our comfortable haven of a home; I’ve gone back to places I know are of comfort – both from my past and those that I have found to welcome me in our new life here.
I have found strength in the familiarity of my community. Calm in the knowledge that regardless of if we have talked that day or not, my oldest friend is currently less than a mile away. Comfort in the simple act of packing up Jr and lunch and stopping in to sit and chat and just be at my family’s company with my parents in the surroundings I know so well.
I can (and I will – it’s still me – ) jest frequently about my observations. I can’t be who I am in my core and NOT feel a pull to the city I loved so much.
For goodness sakes that would be the end of Reluctantly Suburban Keri – and that is like an end to the concept of cocktail hour – it fades a bit but it will NEVER truly go.
But still. At this moment I understand, very truly well, why it is that I am here.
I am grateful.
Filed under Uncategorized
Reluctantly Suburban 