He’s ok.

On Jr’s last birthday I marveled (and maybe lamented a bit,) at the speed at which his little life is proceeding.
Laying here, same sofa (it’s kind of a tradition at this point, ) same sweet doggie smashed against my feet and legs, same quiet, dim, cozy feeling…
I still feel the rush of the time, for sure. But I feel an even greater sense of amazement as I watch him doing new things, meeting new challenges, and finding new joy every minute of every curiosity-filled day.
Last night he woke up and cried in the middle of the night, which never happens, nothing was really needed, but I would never pass up an invitation to cuddle in the Big Blue Nursery Chair at this point,  so we settled in.
Soon he was fast asleep,  and in the glow of his soother I looked down and saw, very clearly,  the newborn he was 3 years ago . I rocked and cuddled and whispered how proud I was of him and completely amazed I am by him… I hummed and smelled his hair and I wrapped the blanket around us both.
He slept there for a bit, head on my shoulder like he used to do regularly; then he stirred a little, opened one eye and said in a sleep-filled sigh “You can go out now mom. I’m ok.”
I tucked him in, arranged his various nighttime “buddies, ” and finally departed quietly.

I sat outside his room watching him sleep on the monitor for a few minutes.
You’re better than ok, kiddo. You’re  doing awesome.
I will keep doing my best to give you space to safely try new things.
(But, if needed, I’m just right outside the door. No matter what.)

Happy Birthday Jr.

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