Why I’m down with Barney.

I am SO not the “no more than 1/2 hour of TV a month for little Timmy,” kind of parent.    We are a TV loving family, and Jr is no exception.

When he was teeny tiny and sitting in his little buzzing seat on the table, he LOVED the theme songs for “King of the Hill” and “The Big Bang Theory,” (even when he got older – one of his first words was BANG! which he would yell at the end of the latter, before giggling his baby head off.)

On Sundays I would park his Rock and Play next to me in the main room of the Tree House and make an ass of myself interact as we watched Play With Me Sesame, and Elmo was his first baby love.

Now that he is older and more interactive (he will be two next week.  TWO!  Sob, stop time, stop – TOO FAST!) he sings and giggles and dances and repeats and generally woops it up in front of some Sprout/Disney Jr/Nick Jr programing.

I can’t say I will be losing any sleep over that, so whatever.

HOWEVER – pre-kiddo, I will say that I thought Barney would NEVER show his puffy purple kissser in my casa, no way, no how.

Um yeah.

Barney is awesome.  Barney could roll up in his Barney bus, unpack his Barney bags, and take up residence here and I would be totally down, (might need to tail-proof some things, but I will make it happen if needed.)

Who is NOT awesome?

Dora.  Dora is a  Shouty McShouterson.  Dora (and her cousin or brother or WHATEVER, Diego too,) needs to take it down about a bajillion notches.  Instead of that, however, Dora is constantly telling MY KID to say things louder.

“We need to call ice cream trucky  RIGHT NOW – will you help me?”

:::pause for kid to respond:::::

“LOUDER”

Hell no, not “louder” Dora – mommy no likey the screechy. Cierra la boca, por favor! (See, I did learn something other than how to ask for the bathroom pass in Spanish class – suck on that “Senora Tried-to-fail-me.”)

Who else is NOT awesome?

Cailou.  Did I spell that wrong?  I don’t care. Because I agree with his internet nickname “Cryou.”

What the hell did we do to you Canada, that you have sent us this whiner to infiltrate our TV time?  I am uber-ok with expressing our emotions, with showing images of boys who aren’t ashamed to cry, etc, but that Charlie Brown looking pre-schooler WHINES everything.

Growing up is not so tough, except when he’s had enough (always,) and then he whines like the whineiest whiner EVAH.

Stop.  No really.  I don’t actually want my kid to think that whining is an acceptable form of communication.

Zip It, baldy.  And your little cat, too.

Every time I hear him screeching, I hear the chorus of this gem from the South Park Movie

Here is the thing – Barney is nice.  Barney has a good message.  Barney makes my kid want to come give me “a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.”  Barney is anything but annoying.

Give me some Barney and plenty of Sesame Street (I mean really – Sesame Street, fun for kids, fun for adults, and the things my kid knows that have come from Sesame Street AMAZE me,) and we will be singing and dancing and giggling with glee – no shouting or  whining allowed.

Sunny dayyyyy, sweepin’ the clouds awayyyyyy……