Tag Archives: kids

Careful shmareful. Just Sayin’.

Telling a toddler to “be careful” is like telling the sun to be purple, or a dog to be a bus driver.
I keep saying it, he keeps climbing the EVERYTHING, and we might as well be from different planets.
I’m pretty sure I sound like the Swedish Chef, or the adults in a Charlie Brown special to his tiny ears.  Noises are coming at him, but they don’t mean anything.

Just Sayin’.

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Direct proportionality. Just Sayin’.

More whine from a toddler = more wine for mommy.
It isn’t a choice people, it’s math. Math is truth, no matter what.

Update! Math is hard… pictures make it easier!
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Note the green (representing the level of snot flow from Toddler as whine increases,) line as the cookie whining escalates and mom goes from a simple glass of grape, through into “tumbler” range, and onward into Franzia territory. Public offspring meltdowns may result in a need for consumption of said beverage while rocking and crying in a hot bath.

Just Sayin’.

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It worked for Dolly. Just Sayin’.

Full time mom + Full time job + bathroom remodel contract supervisor + proud daughter of daddy with shiny new heart valve + shit I am forgetting right now = no sleep and need for clone.

I think I slept while making dinner last night. .  I did it but I don’t remember doing it.

Not enough me.

Just Sayin’.

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Stains. Just Sayin’.

The places my kid manages to get stains never cease to amaze me. This is no small statement coming from me, considering I have ended up with liquid cheese from lunch on the ass of my pants and had to be told by someone before I even noticed it.
Many times. More than once.

Guess he got his advanced stain placement talent from me.

Just Sayin’.

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Weekend killer. Just Sayin’.

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I don’t know if it really takes a village to raise a child, but it damn sure takes one to stain that child’s playset.

Just Sayin’.

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