Direct proportionality. Just Sayin’.

More whine from a toddler = more wine for mommy.
It isn’t a choice people, it’s math. Math is truth, no matter what.

Update! Math is hard… pictures make it easier!
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Note the green (representing the level of snot flow from Toddler as whine increases,) line as the cookie whining escalates and mom goes from a simple glass of grape, through into “tumbler” range, and onward into Franzia territory. Public offspring meltdowns may result in a need for consumption of said beverage while rocking and crying in a hot bath.

Just Sayin’.

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Time flies?

So.
It’s been a year.
I knew we were close to the date, but wasn’t sure exactly until we got our automated “it’s been a year since you closed on your home!” email from our realtor.

I guess I should stop saying I “just moved back” now, eh?

Still a total fish out of water, but I did finally find a hair stylist I love (if I moved, she’d totes be commute worthy,) and we see a lot more Grayton than we do Mega Coon (YOU BASTARD,) of late;  as predicted I haven’t suffered from a lack of 2 a.m. grocery access, and we continue to grow a list of freaking awesome restaurants and funky shops that are local and amazing.
In addition,  we are sneezing distance from achingly delish humanely produced Beef, Bison, Eggs, Poultry,  Lamb, and Cheese and the pricing is better because I drive to them instead of them driving to the farmers market in the city. (Mmmmmm….meeeeeeeat.)

I’ve even cracked my way into the good graces of one of the neighborhood SAHMs. (Well, Jr did really,  they have a kiddo his age and she’s been warm in welcoming us to come play a bit after my working-mom self collects Jr from daycare. )
Guess they figure we aren’t going anywhere;  and that crazy blonde lady isn’t going to stop running all over the hood with her tattoos hanging out, dragging her punk band t-shirt wearing toddler behind her in the wagon looking for some playdate action, so they are giving in.

A few months into this family exodus from our urban beginnings, a like-minded coworker told me that although her current address wasn’t her ideal abode locale, it is about blooming where you are planted.

Maybe, just maybe, that is what I am learning to do.

(But seriously… it’s a minivan, not a tank, “ladies.”  Let’s keep it cool out there –  the waterpark/library/grocery store/dance class/what-the-hell-EVER you are late to isn’t going anywhere, and there will be 800 free parking spots for that monstrosity when you roll up.)

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mmmmm. Just Sayin’.

Hot Tamales pair surprisingly well with Vhino Verde.
If you’re looking for an easy summer meal.
I mean, nobody likes to have to turn on the oven in the summer, right?
I bet Mike and Ikes would really balence an uber buttery chardonnay.
You know you want to.

Just Sayin’.

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It worked for Dolly. Just Sayin’.

Full time mom + Full time job + bathroom remodel contract supervisor + proud daughter of daddy with shiny new heart valve + shit I am forgetting right now = no sleep and need for clone.

I think I slept while making dinner last night. .  I did it but I don’t remember doing it.

Not enough me.

Just Sayin’.

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Coyote pee and carrots

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We have a, um,  situation with bunnies in our neck of the backwoods burbs.  
There are TONS of them, and they breed like, well, like bunnies.
They aren’t shy about coming into yards, and they love a good planter for snacking.
They also eat grass.  This made them the arch nemisis in the comic book-like tale of The Mr’s adventures in yard care.
It hasn’t been uncommon for him to drop off midsentance and go shooting out of whatever door is closest, waving his arms and shouting “GET OUT!! DAMN RABBITS!” when he spoted one of the furballs on the lawn.

His arsenal includes pepper spray (spray on plants, not at bun buns, we aren’t those people, ) and a vat of coyote pee the size of a pony keg, among other things.
He has been in the trenches against Bugs’ brethren like his life depended on defending every blade of grass.
Until last week. Then I got the picture above from him on my phone.
And another.
And another.

This is “Grayton” (according to The Mr,)
the little bunny who divides his time between our drain pipe and that infamous ugly bush in our front yard.
He is now my husband’s favorite topic.

First thing in the morning, The Mr goes to the front door an searches for the bunny.
Don’t know where my husband is? Try the front yard, he is probably watching Grayton snacking on the grass in the shade.
I caught him leaving a portion of carrot by the drain pipe.

😐

Stockholm syndrome much?

We are going to be running the G rated version of The Bunny Ranch by next year.
I need a lock for my produce drawer.

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